Well its a new year and as usual, nothing ever ever changes!
Life is well, crazy as all fuck.
Feb I got sleeve surgery and so far 4 months later I've lost 40kg. That's so damn huge for me and a massive accomplishment in itself.
Its been a crazy journey that I don't care to repeat but more then happy to continue...
The beginning was really tough and fucked with my head space in more ways then one.
It was and still is a massive mind fuck every single day.
In the beginning I got really sick and malnourished. I had ulcas all through my mouth and throat. These made eating even harder. I also have VERY low iron. Infusions may be #mylife all the time now.
I had to see a specific bariatric Dietitian to get my menu on track.
Didn't take long to feel much better once I knew what was best for me and my new tummy!
In the beginning I got really sick and malnourished. I had ulcas all through my mouth and throat. These made eating even harder. I also have VERY low iron. Infusions may be #mylife all the time now.
I had to see a specific bariatric Dietitian to get my menu on track.
Didn't take long to feel much better once I knew what was best for me and my new tummy!
I'm never hungry, but I have to eat all the time ( may be a over exaggeration, but every 3 hrs is a damn lot considering I used to eat only once per day )
And only small amounts, this isn't what mind fucks you! Its really hard to put the "pen to paper" in regards to how it makes me feel emotionally.
Drinking a mouthful of simple water can hurt more then chewing and eating a piece of apple. How that works is beyond me.
I hide behind soups and shakes way too much, because its easy and it does not hurt.
I'm learning now eating is about quality and not the quantity of food i'm eating.
I always knew that before my surgery, but you really don't realise how important it is until its in your face and your LIVING it.
I don't want to look back, but look forward to the opportunity this surgery has given me and my quality of life.
I'm not getting "skinny" I am getting HEALTHY.
How you think is what matters, and how I feel is fantastic.
Drinking a mouthful of simple water can hurt more then chewing and eating a piece of apple. How that works is beyond me.
I hide behind soups and shakes way too much, because its easy and it does not hurt.
I'm learning now eating is about quality and not the quantity of food i'm eating.
I always knew that before my surgery, but you really don't realise how important it is until its in your face and your LIVING it.
I don't want to look back, but look forward to the opportunity this surgery has given me and my quality of life.
I'm not getting "skinny" I am getting HEALTHY.
How you think is what matters, and how I feel is fantastic.
I feel good about myself, I can look in the mirror and say
"Hey your beautiful" and never ever ever in my life have I ever said them words to myself until this last month.
To be honest I never thought I ever would. It was a constant battle with self esteem, I hated myself, I was never good enough for anyone.
I was stuck in a fat girl mentality, that isolated me. All the way from high school when I refused to go to year 12 graduation. because I thought I was "too fat" to wear a dress or "too ugly" to look pretty in a dress anyways.
"Hey your beautiful" and never ever ever in my life have I ever said them words to myself until this last month.
To be honest I never thought I ever would. It was a constant battle with self esteem, I hated myself, I was never good enough for anyone.
I was stuck in a fat girl mentality, that isolated me. All the way from high school when I refused to go to year 12 graduation. because I thought I was "too fat" to wear a dress or "too ugly" to look pretty in a dress anyways.
To my adult life, where I stayed with a man because no one else would want me anyways.
Afraid to be alone, to apply for work, to wear swimmers at the pools or shorts to the shops.
The surgery is more then just a weight loss journey.
Im not afraid of ME anymore.
The surgery is more then just a weight loss journey.
Im not afraid of ME anymore.
